`Perceive`

Oh Not This Time

2007-01-29T15:20:53+01:00

Hahah! You Lose!!

Those were the very words I wanted to say to her face.

Anyway, things are getting worse everyday between truth and plasticity. It really sucks that we have to let some things go by "unnoticed" as if nothing happened. Really, as if...

I'm not really in any mood to go brag about anything so I'll just update everything this week.

By the way... it's exam week!!

In Her Fairytale

2007-01-07T06:26:41+01:00

I know this girl through someone else. Through how I first knew her, she was awesome. The person who introduced me to her was like fascinated with her. So let’s call this girl Liz.

Well my friend loved to tell me about Liz – that she was cool, had a super cool boyfriend who was also famous, had a rich and happy life – a perfect girl. Note, this is a true story.

So I was like, “really!? She must be really lucky!”

Or so I thought.

Sooner or later, my friend and I realized there was something wrong with Liz. Her stories were inconsistent and she was afraid that we would spread her story of her life to other people – one thing that isn’t usual with a person proud of herself, especially of her boyfriend.

She was living a fairytale based on The OC, One Tree Hill, Laguna Beach and other teeny bopper series on TV.

It was weird, I thought she was true. The problem is why did she have to tell us these things that weren’t true? It felt really awkward finding out that all her life’s stories were lies. It would have been better if this was just a story… but this is real life and we’re real people she’s playing with.

Dear, if you’re reading this, you know who you are and you’re damn right, I’m mean. I don’t want to hurt you but wake up, we’re not stupid! The OC stays on TV… and only lucky people live a life like that

Why We Should Learn To Be Strong and Not Rely On Anyone

2007-01-01T22:29:20+01:00

There are times when you think you had it all - the perfect family, the best friends, the great boyfriend/girlfriend. You can't help but imagine life without them and you turn miserable. That's when you realize that you rely on them. Of course, for strength - emotionally, for comfort, for security... for your own sake.

After all these, you live your so-called "close to perfect life" and that's when you fall apart. Well, at least not all of you. I've witnessed a lot of friends get frustrated, my parents get separated, and my brother having no group mates despite all his friends. And no, these people don't really have anything in common except for the fact that I know them.

Anyway, to get to the point I'm writing this because I'm more than frustrated. I'm miserable. These people that I've mentioned - friends, relatives, bf's/gf's - are all part of this thing. No matter how close we can be to them, we still shouldn't rely on them. Of course, it's not possible or so we thought.

The more that we lean on them for our comfort, the more that we expect something from them. And because of that, we learn to depend on them - to hold on their promises. The more that we do, the more that we get hurt. Sometimes, even the closest person that we call friend can't be there for us just when we need them the most especially if we catch them unprepared. And sometimes, the people that we thought was our knight in shining armor or our fairy princess just couldn't be there in time to help us out. In fact, sometimes our parents can't even stand beside us when we thought they're our last resort.

Of course we can't always have what we want and our disappointment will always be there - but haven't you thought?

This is the reason why many people get hurt - they (we) depend on other people that's why we end up in disappointment or worse.

They say that no man is an island, perhaps right. Our source of joy are these people around us... but they're also the ones that cause us so much pain.

I don't need anyone...

2007-01-01T11:42:06+01:00

Life is harsh, I know. And sometimes you can't rely or lean on to the people that you expect to be there for you. Instead they pinpoint other people to have some sort of "responsibility for you".

I'm really pissed off today. I know, I'm 19. I should be able to do things on my own now. In fact, I should be doing everything on my own now. Unfortunately, I'm in the Philippines. Here, age doesn't matter and parents will have an eternal hand on their kids until they die. Anyway, I'm supposed to get my passport and my mom was supposed to come with me. She promised me a date and suddenly she couldn't.

That's not the big deal.

The thing is she suddenly points her finger to my boyfriend that he's the one who should go with me and blah blah blah... She suddenly wants him to be very responsible and all, suddenly doing the role of the husband but damn, I'm not his wife. Suddenly my mom wants a perfect BF for me...

In fact, what she wants is a perfect maid for me. One that can go with me anytime, anywhere with no complaints. Well, someday I'll play God and tell the world what to do in her face. In the mean time, I'll play a slave for myself just like how it all started from the beginning. I grew up with my parents never helping... only at times when I'm falling apart.

I never asked for help... maybe that's why they don't want to help when I start screaming for it. It's not pleasant. There's a border line with what I can do and what I can't. The problem is that they won't believe me when I've crossed that line...

Be Jolly

2006-12-24T12:23:11+01:00

Simple. I want to be somehow happy - no, not grumpy nor grouchy. Just happy. No joke and don't freak out for this is unusual.

pre-requisites

2006-12-09T17:53:21+01:00

It's not simple... not like what others thought that it's simply the music and nothing more... like that you jive into the latest trend and go to the next.

Real love of music is a devotion - not singing the newest song and what's hot suddenly changing beats when it's no longer what everybody listens to. And there are so much more than knowing what you're listening to, singing by heart... and looking forward to sticking to it. There are pre-requisites.

I recon a lot would disagree, probably because they don't do the things I'm about to say.

I met this guy, Francis. He's annoying and overly self righteous for a sixteen year-old know it all. For the record, he posts lectures about bands, the roots and everything else. He would make you look pathetic for a beginner and nonetheless a jerk if you knew it all. I hated him for once and learned to appreciate him for now, but not always.

I thought, isn't it just the music? The love of it, and I meant the real love of it? Do I really have to know other genres than what I wanted to listen to?

Answer is yes, there were certain pre-requisites.

Loving rock music is more than singing rock songs but knowing them by heart, and I have always believed you must know the roots. You can't love what you never knew. But then I was jamming with three bands last night, trust me I'm still halfway dizzy up to now. They sounded like nerds talking about the beginnings and all... considering that one was alternative, the other was ska and the other, sort of... greyhounds style (i dunno the genre). I knew a lot but missed the important facts and ended up with a stare.

No, you must not know how all things started. How did rock form, who started when and where...
you must know... just for the record you don't run blind missing a lot of things in life. Truth is... it's pure knowledge I suppose.

Real rockheads are stupid. Some may have died on drugs while writing their songs, consider literature. Lisa Loeb is a math genius, and more of them knew more than GMack's CEO.

They say rockers were the outcasts, plainly stupid and dirty. Come to think about it...you have no idea at all...

CANNOT LOGIN NEED HELP!!

2006-11-19T09:00:56+01:00

wTF!!

ANYONE PLEASE!! I REALLY NEED HELP!!!

I cannot login into certain sites but when I use other PCs, the computer connects. What happens is that when I type in my username and password (which are correct), it only loops back to the login form... again and again!

I tries doing the instructions in the HELP FAQs but it's no help like that about the deleting the cookies and redoing it again.

Anyone who knows what to do, please comment on this.

Thanks!