`Perceive`

I haven't updated.. again for quite a while.

I was really busy and I think this life has taken a toll on me.. Yes, it's not my original line... Remember Maroon Five? Errr.. Anyway, so many things have happened since this semester had started...

So here it goes for a quick round up:

**HeCtic... Career WoMan?!**

Aww, come on.. Naniniwala ka ba?

Hahah! Yeah I'm pretty serious...

• Pintados..

So., ang dami naming napasukan na kung anu-ano. I renewed my CBA Concepts membership... It's the Business Ad's production. Well, I was there last year but believe me, the only good contribution I had there was being the Emcee for the Business Ad's general assembly. So, so, ayun! Ngaun... active member ako!! Witwiw!! Hihi... ^_^

In connection with that... I got into this mural contest in CET's Science and Technology Week... chuva... I was with Ern and Mich, two classmates and also members of Concepts. Hmm... we didn't win though. It was really disappointing but I wouldnt post my personal insights on that... mananahimik muna ako, ayoko nan gulo dahil lang dun no!! Pero, it was really disappointing in my part.

...not to mention that I wasted one pair of uniform for that! Imagine, my uniform looked like an abstract work of art with splashes of paint.

• business bitchy bitch bitch...

Then, we've been really busy with our prelim exams and... other activities!

amfoootah.... other activities daw oh? Ako ba toh? boi...

Yep, I'm freaking serious. Last week we went to Araneta again then next week we're gonna have this field trip to this Trade Expo in Megamall. Next to that... We're going to start our training in JAPI. How I wish I get into a good group to make a good company.

• Web Geek

Umm.. I've also made a website. It's currently under construction but I'd be really glad if you guys come to check it out...

**My DiSaPpoiNtments**

Dang rami... napakarami at halos di na mabilang nan daliri ko kahit sobrahan mo pa ng isang daliri na meron ding kuko sa gitna nan kamay ko...

I really had lots of complaints and brags... and it includes my eternal battle with myself. Awwwwe., I hate myself.

• The perfect concoction for failure

I've written this in my other blog. I guess in friendster or what...

Anyway, there's this competition where our delegates lost the place for the Top Five. It was really disappointing knowing that we're a good school and we always manage to get there!

Then I could've let it go but when I knew who some of the members were... amf., wala nang tanong - tanong... sigurado na! Mga ningas kugon! Yup... a bunch of ningas kugon - meaning people who are really good at convincing others that they can do something or achieve something; or people who at first are really hardworking and persevere but... suddenly, parang bula - like bubbles, **POP** they're gone into thin air as if they weren't there...

Oh, it's so sad... I hate those guys... Here are some lines from these people:

• **Blind item Ningas Kugon #01 : really good at starting something with words...

 She goes like "oh, we can do this or that then we'll get this or that! I definitely know how to do this, where to get that, and we can succeed!"

pretty convincing, huh?

then., she even goes like, "Okay, this is what we do... (gives instructions and then suddenly says) but I can't be around, I have this fashion show. Can you guys do that while I'm not around!?

so you think she'll be around... the next time around? so you think she did her part while she's away to somehow contribute something and help you out? but you're wrong. Here's a sample of a text conversation:

you SMS her about her progress and ask her if she's done something and she says, "umm.. I haven't finished it yet. But I will, I'm sorry but I'm pretty busy with our project in blah blah blah."

now you feel assured that she's still, somewhat do it. but then., a few HOURS or one day before submission she sends you a message saying...

"hey, I'm really sorry but I have tonsillitis... I can't type anything!"

Hmmm.. I thought tonsillitis was the inflamation of the tonsil in the throat... But now I think the tonsil in on the hands and she can't type cuz her hands are inflamed. Now it made wonder - it's either her tonsil is found on her hands and it's inflamed so she couldn't type or she uses her mouth to type.

NOw, for the other blind item.. let's just say he has no talent at all... ^_^ cuz he barely gives a damn. his glasses can definitely fool you.

• Fuck the self righteous...

you know what that means...

SO.. that'll be the round up..

maulit muli.. hihi.. ^_^

Summer classes will start on Monday and will end by the end of May... so that's having regular classes for the whole summer... patay ang buhay.. lalo na sa Nicasia...

I'd be staying at Dasma again the whole time so it's almost like having no summer break. Tawag nila bakasyon, ay takte.........

Oh well, at least some peepz would be there but everything else would be almost as good as dead. There wouldn't be much people there, juz some few hundred kids trying to get through wanting to graduate on time or at least to lessen their loads... so the 16 hectare or 21 hectare or whatever place would look like a deserted forest with some people walking by every now and then.

Plus, plus... ubusan toh nan damit mga tsong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like everyday washday... considering na uniform kami araw araw except weds, aba'y kulang ang pantalon ko!!!!!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

this is me... oh, need more to say??

--> ang pinaka pudpod kong kataga kabilang sa mga sumusunod:

• ang pagiging rakista/emo whatsoever ay hindi lan sa porma nakikita... nasa puso at musika!
• i can't take the company of fake people
• bhoooooooooooooot!

so last sunday i went to church with jess... en it sort of freaked me out when he didn't want to me wear my "weird" outfit, or rather the more than the usual jeans and shirt outfit of mine. it kinda sucked. no, it really sucked... i mean, ano ba?????? but of course, i had to let it go. it's the piece of me he'll never see again unless accidentally. i want him to get used to that side of me, my weird sense of dressing up not caring if they think it's funny, autistic or whatever bullshit... but it's not gonna happen anytime soon...

and then...

tomorrow i'm going to get my classcards... it's gonna be boring and fun... oh, the irony of things. 

libre mangarap...

ito ang pangarap naming banda...matuloy kaia???? hehehhe.... can you imagine i juz made this ticket for us!! oh... dreaming is for free!

Everything is supposed to be fine... only if some people would just cooperate and make it right. The problem is, they have their own shit to set their own things 'right'.

Asaaaaaaar!

So, the evening was fine... I mean, Jess and I went to church, then stayed here at home and I was to do everything as I have planned it. I would do the marketing presentation when Jess leaves. We had a great time... a routine to say but not really. Awe, nevermind.

Anyway, things went wrong when I opened our marketing report. One, there was a missing part! Then, there were lots of wrong crap!!!! I know, somehow it was my fault - I should have checked everything before the submission. But, but, but... ano bah!!! Kasi naman, nakakapagod na lahat ako mag aasikaso, having to chase missing groupmates and shit! tapos, you end up with their wrong work! Hindi ko sinasabi lahat mali, in fact, I appreciate their effort. Un nga lan, sana tinama man lang nila. Oo, dapat binasa ko mabuti lahat... but after all the struggle they put me through, trust me, I lost all my enthusiasm in this project.

So there... takte, pinoproblema ko tuloy pano to gagawin ng maayos. Ah! Lagi na lang ako malas sa ibang groupmates... pero alam ko, may mali din ako... kaia sobrang fed up na ko! sino ba naman kasi ang gaganahan??

Then, there's still my project in Biology... pero yun lang presentation ang pinoproblema ko dun...

Haaaayyyyy, eskwelahan.. pwede naman hindi ganito... Kung hindi lan sila nagpalate nan pasa, eh di sana.. ah ewan!

last wednesday was the last time i saw the light of dasma... and after that i was torn into pieces here in cavite. the message: i miss school. no, probably not the institution itself but the things i do there and the people im with rather. but i enjoy being here though... being with jess..

anyway......

im juz pretty much uptight. Jen and I finished our product in one day but the written report isn't done yet. Im gonna ask our other groupmates to do it. They shouldn't be useless, afterall this is a group project. We had to execute it in less a day to spare. The big test comes on thursday...

then our english proposal had to be submitted tomorrow. now, that's two shitty crap that i have to finish until tomorrow... in case that i cant finish it until tonight. tomorrow means early morning - madaling araw - yep, walang tulugan... my eyebags are huge... imagine my small eyes with big dark bags of skin below... yuerks!

Jess and I went out last night... it isnt unusual but we're already a month old. gosh, can you juz believe that?

here's the ticket on the CSU crap concert whatever... I just thought I'd post it anyway... pix of the PICC something will be posted soon on my friendster photoalbum....

Yeah, I won't be bragging about Jhay... time to put it to a halt. Facing reality, I think it's time now to be real.

So, this is how it went. Ang lola ko, si Jette, nireto na naman ako to this guy. So, I thought this would again juz like the first one. Sana mas girl siya... whatever bullshit. Pero, plus factor... this guy has a band kaya na-convince ako ni Jette to go for it.

Gig nan OranGe and Lemos *JaN.17* was when I first saw him. My previous blog mentioned his band - Stuka Siren. So there we were, setting sights on each other! Hahaha! Hindi naman siya lumapit... but we continued texting. The next day, I went to Lumban Laguna to watch Raymund perform with his band this time. Then the next day, I ended up with thee guy... the reto guy... his name is Jess.

Okay, so that was our first "date" sa E! & the next Sunday, we went out. Alam ko, it's really quick. I mean, we've known each other technically by only two weeks and four days to be exact and add three days through text. So, kamusta naman????

Eh di ayun, aus diba... sobrang pareho sa music, sa interest, at akalain mo, he happens to be a soccer player way back in his high school days.. So... we sort of jammed in a lot of ways.. kaia....

kAmi Na! hehe... goodluck!

**AnYwaY,**

it's cool actually that Jess isn't this uber possesive Bf,,, i still manage to go out and hang out... with his blessings. Last night I was over Alexis' place... got tipsy though...but enjoyed the night away.

and if you don't have a car... well damn... you still hit me somehow...

Oh! ano bang pinoproblema ko!? aba'y tanungin ko ba naman kau...

neweiz, it's saturday and i'm somehow freaking bored by the whole week... marami naman kaming nigawa kahit 3 araw pa lan yung classes pero kahit na, medyo nakakatamad pa rin. we still got a hang over of the xmas break. medyo nakakairita talaga...

Wednesday,nanood kami ng King Kong.... aba'y akalain mong may kakaibang lovestory of some sort. anyway, i got this crazy review of it and other stuff we did,, some perspectives about kingkong beating up big dinobarney...

<- click

So, standing right in front of our gates a brand new black Mercedez SLK hit me, running over my body and it, well, obviously got away with it. I'm technically left bleeding with me singing Happy Birthday in a monotone voice. Almost dead, maybe still dying but unfortunately still alive.

So what is this all about? ay, wala lang... isa na namang reklamo... gusto ko talaga siyang batiin ng happy beerday. pero bakit pa eh ni wala siyang paki sakin. okay, uki, talagang todo emote ako... pero swear, totoo. Sa Jan.9 ang mismong bday nia, pero ngaun yung celebration. marami pa kong nalaman bout jhay, and i dont know who to believe.

so im like caught up in my personal exile from reality making myself believe the truth but too reluctant to let go of my dreams... and it sucks, especially having to cry over it... when it won't even help. he don't give a shit. and my friends will definitely make me eat shit when i do something spectacular a.k.a. rewriting my historical fiasco over and over again.... cuz i am in love with the wrong guy...

I was actually one of those who planned it but turns out, I was the one who wasn't able to come! Aba'y akalain mong ako pa yung nawala di bah!?? Now that sucks. I want to enjoy this xmas break - and most probably with my HS peepz cuz this is the only time when I get to see them and stuff. Ngaun na lang kami nagkita-kita ulit except dun sa birthday ni Kerr kaya ito. So, katext ko si Lady and I said I want us to meet up juz to bond whatever so she said that Senio wanted to go to the movies.

I agreed. Set the date. And damn I never thought I wasn't able to get a single penny to get myself going!! I was totally broke! I didn't get to join them going to the mall and watching the movie the whole afternoon. The worse thing is that they went out to Padi's Point. They told me to come over since I wouldn't have to spend that much but man, I am BROKE with the capital "B" and the bar's entrance is P150 and I only have a pathetic P40! How was that for the event planner who never get to go to the event na ako pa mismo yung isa dun sa mga nag plano!!?? Ahhh, kamusta naman!!

Heart breaking really....

So that was yesterday. What did I do? Hmmm.. I just made some accesories for myself and I actually enjoyed it. I was also on the phone with Jette til like 2am this morning.

Anyway, the day before yesterday was somewhat an addition to "His Face Was Everywhere". Bakit ba naman kasi lagi na lang na may association kay Jhay yung mga nakikita ko!! Asar todo! I was on my way to Cakelines to buy some meryenda at isang sulyap lang sa labas at ayun na, muntik na ko magmukmok!! Akalain mong parang si Jhay yung nakita but this time, hindi niya talaga kamukha yung guy. It juz happens that the guy was tall, wearing a "trasher" outfit in black, long wavy hair tied to a pony at the back of his head... urgh!!!

*__**__^_x_kiMi_x_^__**__*

Okay, I'm gonna drop all ranting subjects for now... I noticed that I haven't put anything here for quite a while. I updated my other blog bout all the happenings last week but not this one. It's a pretty long story so I suggest you drop by my other blog to read it... hehehe.. mautak ang lola mu!! -> last week's stories!

Anyway, medyo nagkakagul0 kami lately para tomorrow. Swear, medyo nabadtrip pa talaga ku kasi hindi makakasama si VJ.. naiisip ko tuloy ilan ung mga makakasama tomorrow; baka mamaia, ilan lang talaga kami. Actually, high school peepz ko ung kasama ku 2m, sa wakas parang christmas party at the same time, reunion na rin namin. Akalain mu, sa funeral nan mum ni VJ kami nagkita-kita! at dun na rin namin napagplanuhan ang lahat... kaia lan, bigla na lan may change of plans... hindi na raw swimming party sa Tanza but dun na lan sa farm nila john... hmmm.. i wonder anu gagawin namin maia sa meeting at bukas...

Anyway, so far im hoping for the best...

And.. katext ku si Fatima... she's so makuleeetttt!! super! love and crap, madali talaga magpayo sa iba. nakakainis diba, ang bilis makaformulate nan kung anong advice but when i come to think about it, wala akong magawa sa sarili ko...

Kasi naman,, magkakagusto na lan... sa obitZ pah... i'm not against any lesbians but im juz wondering why she's so obsessed with this girl.... Nadel. No, she's a girl that looks like guy. ang kinakaasar ko, hindi sya gusto at pinaglalaruan lan xa nun lintik na un (its so asar!!)... dami namang ibang obitZ jan, if she really interested in guys, pero mahal nia raw churva whatever... naku!! it's really annoying when i hear what that Nadel is doing to her... sooner or later, ana and i are gonna beat her down!

anyway... aku, inaasar pa rin ni fatima... la magawa, and im trying to justify na magkaiba ung katagang "sa kanya umiikot ang puso ko" sa "sa kanya umiikot mundo ko". totoo naman diba? i mean, kasi pag mundo - lahat nigagawa mo or lahat nan ginagawa mo ay nakabase dun sa tao/bagay na un na iniikutan nan world mo... when you say puso, malamang un feelings mo lan, dun/kanya lan talaga... parang ako diba...

naku, tama nah! hehehe... juz lookin forward for tomorrow...

*_**__kimi__**_*

Same concept.. different stories.. same characters...

Tan'na..nagago na naman ako nan lecheng tadu na un!!! ahhhh, its so nakakainis talaga! sobra!!

Last Thursday, nagyaya ang tadung jhay na magmeet kami (at nan friends niya) at magpainom ako. I refused... 1. nu ko, basag? 2. besides, la ku money... so he insisted at sila daw bahala. fine, edi go! besides, jayvee was (would be) there...

Three days later... I'd find out na aku daw ang nagyaya sa dorm ko... take note of that.. kamusta naman!?? nakakaasar lan talaga. i mean, wala na nga ko halos dignidad cuz im like sort of "liberal" (bullshit) "soo party wild" (whatever) and loves to "flirt" (haller.. i dont go beyond the borders...) tapos gnun pah!!? lecheng nilalang talaga un! so... ahhhhhh!!! ewan!! Highblood ako, swear...

medyo gusto ko siyang puntahan at hilahin lahat nan hikaw niya sa katawan! shit, marami yun!

anyways, that's what im bragging about. practically a shallow thing to whine over but... naasar ako eh. todo affected. sana kasi dati anu2 na rin ung sinabi niya bout me when we broke up. tapos ganito..malamang tama si ana na hindi ako dapat nagtiwala.. pero di ko naisip yun. Nagyaya lan naman siya, wlang ibang intensyon (para sa'kin ha) kaya wala akong naisip na ganun na naman... naleche na naman ako...